Not urgent but oh so important!
The past few weeks have been intense. A family I have been supporting as an Occupational Therapist and coach over the past 5 years, has been tragically robbed of their husband and father as a result of depression. I can only begin to imagine the pain and suffering of this family, and I too am experiencing my own deep sadness about what I am witnessing at close quarters. As I go about my daily life, this experience is sitting with me, constantly reminding me to focusing on the things that really matter.
So what does really matter in this world?
As usual, yesterday I went out for my early morning run with my inspirational group of marathon runners. We were doing our weekly Thursday morning ten-kilometre “hill” run around the undulating streets of Melbourne.
To pass the time, we chat whilst we run, (it works as a fantastic distraction to the physical challenge of the run) and on this morning I was chatting to my friend about her work and a new boss who was making her life miserable. As she described to me the “cheek” of this boss, his lack of sensitivity and inability to listen to what she was saying, I found myself listening with my “what really matters” ears.
I was thinking how insignificant these issues sounded in comparison to the life and death tragedy I had recently witnessed. Despite what was going on in my mind, I put it aside, stepped into her story, listened more and acknowledged her struggle. At the end of the run she turned to me and said “thanks for listening to me”…. And I knew that in this moment, this sharing really mattered.
This brought me to the thought that ruminating on past frustrations and shame and worrying about what has not yet happened pails into insignificance in the “what really matters” stakes. It can be such a powerful thing, when you are able to notice the feeling of connection in the present. I hear the mantra that my yoga teacher repeats on a regular basis, “the past is gone, the future has not yet happened, all there is, is now, and now, and now…”
I am not, for one moment, intending to minimize anyone’s experience of pain. It is my aim instead to highlight the gems that can help shift our experience of pain to something that really matters in the now. As Neil Gaiman so articulately stated….
“Pain shared, my brother, is pain not doubled but halved. No man is an island.”
My heartfelt thoughts are with you.